Bro Teoh’s Thursday class dated 19th July 2018

Below are the audio links to our last Thursday class recording dated 19th July 2018 for sharing by all. Also enclosed below are the outline short notes (draft prepared by Sister Keat Hoo) for sharing by all.

Outline of Brother’s Teoh Thursday class dated 19/7/2018 

A) Bro Teoh explained the importance of reporting one’s meditation to him so that there will be conditions for dharma to arise thereby enabling them to develop theunderstanding of the cultivation and practices through proper sharing and group discussion. 

B) Brother Teoh shared on the importance of understanding of the Dharma before we confront the 1^st   Noble Truth’s realities. 

C) Sister Keat Hoon asked about the 4th precept on frivolous talks – what is considered as frivolous talks.  Brother Teoh make use of the question’s condition to go through (as a revision) the understanding of the 5 precepts:

1)      1^st precept – to undertake the training rule to abstain from killing and causing harm to fellow living beings. So keeping precept involve exercises of mindfulness and heedfulness.        

2)      2^nd precept – to undertake the training rule to abstain from stealing or taking thingsthat do not belong to us. The deeper meaning includes the intentions to cheat and deceive people. This itself is already the violation of the 2^nd precept.

3)      3^rd precept – Abstain from sexual misconduct (this is for lay people)

• Is sex before marriage a misconduct – if sex is consensual (with mutual consent) then it is not a misconduct).  To be strict sex is preferred after marriage.
• The meaning of misconduct – when sex is being conducted with coercion, in a deceiving way and one is not sincere.
• What is a relationship? – Relationship can take many forms.  Relationship is very important in our life. 
• A short comparison on the great difference in the way “dates and relationships” are being conducted during the olden days of the 60s and 70s and nowadays.
• What is marriage?  What is a marriage contract?  It is a binding Legal contract involving 2 persons.

• What does it take for a marriage relationship to work well and flourish – how should one approach it?  The Dharma does not teach this – but through understanding the dharma we can come out with the criteria needed for a good and meaningful marriage relationship?
  • • Sincerity

This is the most important criteria because it is an expression of true unconditional love.  It is a full commitment towards this sincere relationship because if both are sincere then we can trusteach other.  With this sincerity and trust, the relationship will be beautiful hence there will be no suspicion, envy, jealousy anddeception leading to worry and fear.  Therefore, there is peace of mind, true love, meaning and joy in the relationship.  But this fundamental trust must not be breached for this Marriage contract (synergy) to work.

• • • Trust (Trusting each other)

Sincerity will lead to Trust. Trusting each other – without being suspicious of each other, both are free to move and do things base on mutual trust.  Understanding with develop and flourish between two individuals.

• • • Understanding (between both of them) – Wisdom-wiseUnderstanding that you are no longer living your life alone. Learn to give and take and learn to compromise and resolve issues amicablywith understanding. Have mutual respect for each other. Your money, your career and your parent’s family affairs and matters etc. you decide; duty as a spouse is to only advice and help and vice versa. Approach life together. Having two persons to resolve things and issues is always better than alone. With understanding the relationship will flourish and there will be no more problems.  This understanding will allow the relationship to grow beautifully.  This is achieved through mutual trust and sincerity and understanding of each other’s strengths and weaknesses. 

• Importance of doing a SWOT analysis to determine ones Strength, Weakness, Opportunities and Threat. To understand each other’s strength and your weaknesses so that you all are able to allocate your worldly duties appropriately. To overcome temptations and fear – your Dharma and Noble 8 fold path cultivationare your strength.  To seize upon opportunities that arise one will have to cultivate good blessings and good karma to give us the support. Then, when life presents its threat it is no longer a problem because you can confront them with good understanding (wisdom).  With wisdom you will have no problem.  You will have the good life.
• Cultivate Noble 8-fold path (which is the advice of all Buddhas) to avoid all evil, do good and purify one’s mind.  This will help us improve and turn around our life for the better via having right views leading to the right thought, right conduct (action) and right Communication (speech, correspondences and messaging), good virtue, love, compassion, gentleness, pleasantness, kindness, contentment, generosity, etc. to take care of karma. 

4)      4^th precept – to undertake the training rules to abstain from Lying and arising the following 4 types of wrong speeches:

• • Actual Lying
  • Harsh speech
  • Back Biting
  • Frivolous speech

4.1 How to avoid frivolous speech (Sweet nothing)? How to break the ice among the young people?

• • • To develop good communication skills via cultivating the Noble 8fold path.
    • Ask relevant general questions of interest. Example, “Where are you from? Are you a local? You looks good and great. May I get to know you? Have we meet before? …”
    • Frivolous speech – you may think it is a joke or you simply say things which you think is not important such as a gossip, etc.  However, your speech may hurt another without you being aware.
    • Frivolous speeches are mainly gossips or when one gets carry away and says something stupid (not tactful) and this may cause sensitivities to others.

(Note: This above draft outline short notes are prepared by Sister Keat Hoon)