Biodata Of Bro. Teoh Kian Koon

Bro. Teoh graduated from University of Malaya in Civil Engineering in 1979. He had been a spiritual practitioner cum 'Meditator' since 1971. Since his retirement in 2001 from his engineering career, he has been sharing his understanding and experiences with those who are keen in their search for true happiness, peace and liberation from birth and death and all mental suffering to become a more virtuous, noble and wiser human being. He gives talks and holds meditation classes & retreats and weekly Dharma classes at various meditation centers and places that invite him.

Preface

It is Brother Teoh's sincere hope that Dharma friends, spiritual practitioners, seekers of truth, and cultivators will be able to make use of this enclosed transcript notes to develop a better understanding of the Dharma as taught by the Buddha so that they may progress along the path of dharma to become more virtuous, noble and wiser human beings that can be a blessing to all of humanity and the world.

As these notes were mostly compiled based on a direct transcript from the recording done, its wordings will be more like those of spoken language rather than a written text. Hence it is hope that readers will be able to adjust themselves accordingly to understand its true meaning and intent better and a good way to do this is to listen to the recordings first before reading this transcript notes. For those who want to listen to the recording they can download the talk at www.broteoh.com website or at this link:

Audio MP3

http://broteoh.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Teoh-SJBA-

110626-Kalyanamita.mp3

PDF

http://broteoh.com/wp-content/uploads/2017/02/Promoting-

Kalyanamittaship-20170211-1.pdf

Or contact Brother Ng Swee Aun at sang47500@yahoo.com for further details.

Acknowledgement

It is the donors' sincere intention that this transcript notes be given free to all those who are interested and have the affinity to receive them. I would like to take this opportunity to thank and rejoice in the generosity and wholesomeness of all those Dharma friends or Kalyanamittas who had donated and helped out in the transcription, typing, typesetting, formatting, proof reading, etc to make this free distribution of dharma dana possible.

Special thanks should be accorded to a Kalyanamitta who had personally taken the initiative to forward me her draft transcript for my subsequent editing thereby enabling this dharma transcript to be printed.

By the power of all these wholesomeness may all beings be well and happy, free from all mental and physical sufferings and dangers and may there be love, peace and joy - deep within their hearts. And may it also paved the way for there to be causes and conditions for all dharma friends who had donated or helped out in one way or other to realize their good and noble wishes/aspirations soonest possible.

With Metta always,

By Brother Teoh Kian Koon (Dated: 28.8.2011)

Introduction by Bro. Chim, the President of SJBA.

This afternoon's Dharma Talk is on "The Importance of promoting true    Kalyanamittaship    among Buddhist devotees, Dharma practitioners and cultivators of the Dharma”. The Talk will be given by Bro Teoh Kian Koon. Bro Kian Koon graduated from University of Malaya in Civil Engineering in 1979. He had been a spiritual practitioner cum 'meditator' since 1971. And since 2001, he has been sharing his understanding and experiences with serious and keen spiritual practitioners and others who are keen in their search for true happiness, peace and liberation from birth, aging, sickness and death and all mental suffering.

This talk today is in line with SJBA's vision to build a friendly and caring Dharma centre filled with loving kindness, compassion and wisdom, where there are lots of smiling faces, warm greetings, listening friends, loving care and friendship. This is what we hope we can achieve for all the devotees at SJBA. So with respect we now invite Bro Kian Koon to give the talk.

Sadhu!Sadhu!Sadhu!

Talk by Bro. Teoh Kian Koon

Thank you so much Bro. Chim for the kind introduction and a very Good afternoon to all brothers and sisters in the Dharma. Today's topic, as you all have heard is a very important topic. The title is “The importance of promoting True kalyanamittaship among Buddhist devotees, Dhamma practitioners and cultivators of the Dhamma.” So the title itself is very straight forward but it is a very important stage of your whole implementation plan. Like Bro Chim said, it is your society's vision. The SJBA Exco together with your President had come up with this very beautiful vision which is very noble and very important. It happened to coincide very closely with your SJBA mission statement. I saw it at the wall over there and even in your small booklet. Basically, the vision, if you understand, is very noble and very beautiful and if you can really make it into a living reality and realise that vision, it can help transform the Buddhists, not only those within your centre, it will have a great impact on the entire Buddhist community. Then when the entire Buddhist community understands the beauty and meaning of this vision, the message of the Buddha will spread far and wide naturally, on its own. Just like before we start the puja, Bro Chim recited one phrase, which was very meaningful and very apt. It said," like the fragrance of the incense, you can smell it, it spreads far and wide on its own"; you don't need to believe that incense has fragrance because you can sense it and smell it.

The Buddha also said, our virtue, our wisdom and our understanding, borne of our ability to cultivate his Dharma via following His advice, to avoid all evil, do good and purify the mind can help arise Love, Compassion and Wisdom. The message of the Buddha is very simple; it talked about the arising of Love, Compassion and Wisdom leading to all the peace, harmony, joy and happiness in life. So, this is what will arise when the Buddhist community understands the beauty of this vision. The vision talks about "Towards a friendly, loving and caring Buddhist community and Buddhist Dharma centre” - starting, of course with SJBA. If we were to look at the important words within this vision statement - "Friendliness" how can you have friendliness, you ask yourself? To be friendly, you must have kindness, pleasantness and goodness and to have kindness, pleasantness and goodness, you must have the understanding of the truth, the teaching; otherwise, you cannot have that. So kindness, pleasantness and goodness are part of the cultivation of the Dharma. That's why, if we understand the beautiful message and advice of the Buddha (Dhp. Verse 183), which you all have at your SJBA centre. Don't know why you all write it at the back of your main gate wall - Dhammapada Verse 183. Both the Mandarin and English versions are there. This Dhammapada Verse 183 is actually the essence of the Buddha's advice and his teaching. In Paji, if you have heard them before, it should be something very familiar.

The Buddha said: "Sabba papassa akaranam kusalassa upasampada sacitta pariyodapanam etam buddham sasanam."

The English translation is very simple. Sabbe, means all, so the Buddha said, "All evil you have to avoid." That's why Sabba papassa akaranam. Then kusalassa - kusala is wholesomeness, goodness, whatever goodness and wholesomeness you should cultivate them. The last advice is sacitta pariyodapanam - citta is mind. You have to purify your mind. And this is the advice of all the Buddhas. If you follow His advice, what will happen to you? You will be free of all evil and negativity, which means you will have goodness and kindness, and that's how you can have the ability to be friendly. This is how the first virtue within the vision statement, which is friendliness you can realize it. Then followed by Love; to have love, you must have the understanding of His teaching because True love comes from the realization of the truth, which is His teaching, the Four Noble Truths. Without this realization of the Four Noble Truths which is the wisdom that the Buddha has taught us, there can be no true love. True love is what they call Love without discrimination. There is this genuine love for all beings, and not only all beings, you love the entire environment, all of societies that you encounter. Everything that you come into contact with, the plants, the animals, the living things and all the living beings that you encounter - all that have life, you will have the love. Then when it comes to the last part, caring - how can you be caring? To have the ability to be caring, we need to have compassion. Without compassion, you cannot be caring. So basically to develop this vision, to make it a living reality, you have to actually bring about an understanding of what the Buddha advice is all about to each and every individual, each and every member, starting from the Exco Committee who will lead by example. You have to cultivate according to the advice of the Buddha, leading to the understanding of HIS teaching. Then naturally, these virtues of Friendliness, Love, Compassion and Wisdom leading to the caring nature, the friendly attitude, the warm nature will arise in you. With this, all the Buddhists community within SJBA which is the summation of all the members can actually transform into something very different, very beautiful. Once this noble vision has already been introduced, each and every member, including all the Exco members - they will understand the beauty of this vision. By participating in this vision's project, it can result in a win win situation for the entire project's member because apart from helping the society to achieve their vision, they themselves too will benefit when they followed the advice of the Buddha to transform themselves spiritually. If you all are willing to help the society realise this great and noble vision, then you all will have to help the Exco develop the needed blueprint to implement this noble vision.

As we all know, the vision can bring about great transformation. Once we have the ability to follow the advice of the Buddha, we will have these virtues developed via following the advice of the Buddha to avoid all evil, do good, purify the mind, which is the cultivation. This vision will brings us back to focus on what the Buddha wants us to do. That's why, before He passed away, the Buddha gave this very important advice to the monk. He said, “Strive on with heedfulness. Do not be heedless" -"Appamadena, Sampadetha". So when you can have this advice, deeply taken in, you will know how to focus clearly on the cultivation. So this was the reason why I started these series of talks.

I started off by introducing and explaining to you all how important and how noble this vision is, which I have already elaborated on. Then after that, I even talked about how to develop the blueprint for you all to implement this noble vision that you all had come up with. The blueprint can come about through a series of brainstorming and serious discussions and it has to be driven by a key Exco member who must be very sincere, serious and have the perseverance to see it through. He also needs a lot of patience and understanding, then together with whoever who can help - like the advisors and others; we develop a blueprint needed for you all to implement this noble vision of yours.

So, stage one is to introduce this beautiful vision, stage two is to come up with the blueprint which I already spoken earlier on. Then from there, you can develop the third stage which is the talk today that I'm trying to zero in. After you have introduced the blueprint, you will have to plan the implementation. How can you implement this beautiful vision so that it can become a living reality? So that each and every member of SJBA can be a truly transformed Buddhist - a Buddhist that has the Dharma understanding and this is what today's topic is all about, kalyanamittaship. You know what is the meaning of this word - Kalyanamitta? You heard of it before? Most of you have not heard of this word before? You see, they call it Dharma friends, spiritual friends but the Buddha takes the meaning one step further. He said noble friendship. You know what are noble friendships? Noble ones are enlightened ones. So when you can have a noble friend, you are very fortunate. Having a Noble friend is one of the seven criteria needed to become enlightened - a Sotapanna. You must have true dharma friends and noble friend - friends who walk the path of Dharma and friend who has the Dharma. This is the starting message from the Buddha. Then He told Ananda in one of the sutta, I think it's in the Samyutta Nikaya sutta. In the Samyutta Nikaya, the Buddha said, “Ananda, noble friendship is the whole of the holy life" and the message is very clear. To become enlightened, to cultivate this holy life, you must have noble friends and the Buddha continued by telling Ananda, it is because the Tathagata which is the Buddha, He is the par excellence Kalyanamitta, as a noble friend. Nobody can be better than him, so because of that, He told Ananda, it is due to His ability to be a true Dharma friend or True kalyanamitta to all of living beings.... to them. He used the word 'to them', to all living beings that are subject to birth, that allow them to cease from birth. Because of that affinity, as a true noble friend, with a lot of these beings that have affinity with Him, he was able to help them become enlightened. He was able to help them to be free from birth and death. i.e. don't have to come back to all these 31 planes of existence, to go through all the sufferings that are common to all of life's situations and existence every time they are reborn. So this is the emphasis on today's talk. Developing and promoting true kalyanamittaship among all Buddhist devotees which are most of us, all the members and Dharma practitioners, including the Sangha, the monks and the laities - those who are practicing the Dharma. They already understood the importance and beauty of the Dharma, that's why they want to cultivate and practice them.

Then the third category encompasses the balance of the Buddhist -Cultivators of the Dharma; there is a difference. Cultivators mean you are on the different stages of cultivation. Some of them can be new, some can be already quite experienced, some of them may have already perfected and realized. They are all Dharma practitioners and cultivators of the Dharma. The importance of today's topic is the Buddha's way of introducing this kalyanamittaship concept which is very unique. His mission is to share these noble truths, which is the essence of his teaching with all living beings that can understand and receive His truth. The main purpose is to do away with all the divisions that have happened within the Buddhist communities. When the focus is not there, then we debate. So the purpose and intent of today's topic is - when we can bring everybody back to a common platform, so that all Buddhists, not only just those in Subang Jaya, SJBA members, including all of the other groupings and various Buddhist groups which at the moment (if I am not wrong) they all have their own respective vision, mission and activities and all these are very important and very good - nothing wrong. The only thing I see lacking is the integration part. We have to integrate them all into one great family which the Buddha called Kalyanamittaship or Dharma families. Then we can do away with all the religious and societies symbols. Then we won't call ourselves as from SJBA, you are from Brickfields, Maha Vihara, you are from Nalanda or Sentul or whatever. All these, if you are not careful, it can lead to a lot of unnecessary division and misunderstanding. So what we want to avoid is all the unhealthy gossiping, all the unhealthy internal squabbling, infighting and power struggles that is happening in some of these societies. Some of these, I think we have personally come to know them from what we received - like in some of the AGM's Annual Reports. The things that were minuted clearly indicate that many of these things are happening. So why is it that way? Why can't we remain focus, back to the Buddha's teaching, like what the Buddha used to teach us. The message is very clear, We have to heed His advice, to cultivate the Dharma that He has taught us so that we can be enlightened beings, noble one, true human beings - to be a blessing, not only to ourselves but also to all those that have relationship with us, to all of humanity, society and the world as a whole, so that there is love, harmony, compassion and wisdom which is the message of our Lord Buddha.

In order to bring about all these, we need to integrate them into one entity. That's why this concept of kalyanamittaship is very important. That's the reason why, the Buddha said, kalyanamittaship or noble friendship is all of the holy life - you need to have this. Then like He said to Ananda, "Ananda, it is because the Tathagata is one of these noble friends of them, that's why all of the living beings who are subject to birth, they can be freed from birth and death." So this message connects and link. On kalyanamittaship, I will now go into the detailed part. When we understand the meaning of kalyanamittaship, then we will know how to expand on it and help integrate and assimilate this idea into all of the Buddhist societies, so that everyone can come back to the focus of cultivating the Buddha Dharma by following the advice of the Buddha to avoid all evil, do good and purify the mind so that the essence of the Buddha's teaching, the Four Noble Truths can be understood and realized, so that the individual can transform. It is only when the individual transforms, only then can the society and the centre transform. And when all the Buddhist societies and centers transform, the Buddhist community will be transformed.

When that day arrives, which I hope will happen, then this is what we are looking forward to. We will have a Buddhist community that has the Dharma that has the understanding, wisdom and virtue within so that just like the fragrance of the incense, it will spread far and wide. Everyone will understand. We don't have to be like other religions that have to promote and do the salesmanship to convince people to convert to their respective faith.

This will bring me to another topic that I want to talk about (which is very relevant) so that we can have this understanding and develop it further so that we can be free from those entire unnecessary religious disharmony that is happening throughout the world. Not too long ago, I have a classmate who wrote me an email. I have not seen him for many years; he now lives in Perth, Australia. He was a very good Christian - which I didn't know earlier on because before he left Malaysia, he was not a Christian. That was over 30 years ago. Then somehow we caught up and he wrote me an email. More than 30 years ago, he came to my house for a gathering and met a girl whom he ends up marrying. The bad news was the wife had just passed away, 10 months ago because of cancer, fighting cancer. Then he said, he was lucky because as a Christian, he had this support group that helped him out. But before he told me he was a Christian, he just told me that his wife had passed away. So I wrote back conveying my condolence and told him it must be pretty hard for him to go through all these with two kids. Then I told him I have been teaching meditation, sharing the Truth and have helped many people who are in similar situations. If there is a need, please you are most welcome to write to me so that we can share this understanding which I hope can be of use to you. Then surprisingly, he was very nice, he didn't get angry at all, he just wrote to me in a very nice way and told me, "Kian Koon, I am a Christian and I have this very beautiful support group that actually allow him and his wife to pull through the three years of hard battle with this cancer ordeal." Then I replied and said, "Good & it is beautiful". I said "I rejoice". Yes, this Christian group must be truly sincere and they are really wonderful and the world will be blessed to have such sincere people, who really cared, and helped them to pull through this really difficult period of their life to gain back their good life. Then I made it very clear to him, for me it's very simple, spirituality -whether you are spiritual or religious, doesn't depend on the religious label you carry. Whether you are a Christian, or Buddhist, a Hindu or a Muslim, it is not important. To me there are a lot of black sheep within every profession and religion. You don't know what is happening to the world. Most of these black sheep, they are more keen to promote and glorify their own religion, creating religious disharmony by arguing, by challenging and doing all those rather fanatical things. But I said, "To me to be religious, or to be spiritual is within your heart. If your heart has goodness, kindness, love, compassion and wisdom, then you are religious, no matter what religion you hold because the teaching of their respective Teacher is more or less the same." All those religion that have the Truth, they teach the same, avoid all evils, do good but some teacher teaches the Truth, purify the mind that is the only difference. So if you have cultivated what your great teacher of your religion has taught you, then you will have this goodness in you, this kindness in you, this virtue in you and this understanding in you that will make you religious and spiritual. He was very happy after that. So as a Buddhist and a Christian, we can still coexist. We can still be spiritual in our own way. Which means we have to understand, the religious label never defines whether you are spiritual or not. It is the individual. If you understand this, you understand the message of the Buddha. The message of the Buddha is very simple. Don't claim just to be his disciple and never follow His advice. Do you understand? If you are a true Buddhist who calls yourself a true disciple of the Buddha, then you better follow His advice to cultivate the Dharma. Develop the understanding of the beautiful Dharma that He has taught us especially the Four Noble Truths. When you realize that and when you have that, then you become a true Dharma friend. You know what are Dharma friends? Just now I explained. Friends that have the Dharma and If you have the Dharma, you already have the wisdom, the understanding, the love, the compassion, that's why you can be friendly. You can be caring. You can have love and compassion in whatever you do in life. So that is what the Buddha wants us to do. As Dharma friends, we are here to help, counsel, motivate, encourage and share whatever understanding we have, so that we can together walk the path of Dharma, so that we can be co-cultivator, co-traveler along the path of Dharma, so that we can have this kalyanamitta relationship which means all the Buddhist communities can integrate through this understanding. No matter which Buddhist society you come from. We are all Dharma friend, kalyanamitta. Then there are no more barriers. Then it doesn't mean if you come from a very prestigious Buddhist organization you are more spiritual, or you are more special - no more. Then all the infighting etc, they are the deviation from what the Buddha taught. When the message and advice of the Buddha had been followed, then all the unhealthy gossiping, unhealthy power struggle, unhealthy in fighting and squabbling within all various Buddhist groups and societies, they can never happen anymore. A person who has the Dharma will not create the wrong actions, speech and thought that lead to disharmony, and all the negativity that can condition argument, conflict, and division leading to all the misunderstanding. All these can leads to downfall within the Buddhist community. After all these few years of sharing of the Dharma with many Buddhist organizations and institutions I had gathered from Dharma friends that there has been a lot of this negative feedback which are not so healthy. We have to actually ask ourselves this question. Are we now focus on what the Buddha's message is, to be a true disciple of the Buddha, who has the Dharma, so that we are all kalyanamittas, Dharma friends, friends of the Dharma, which means we are co-cultivators, cotravellers, then whoever who has already realized, they can become our noble friend. That is the higher meaning of kalyanamitta. The Buddha said, you must have noble friends, friends that already realized the Dharma so that you can progress and become transformed. So that end of the day, these noble friends are the ones who have the true Dharma and they are the ones who can counsel you, can engage you in the cultivation of the Dharma. That is why it is very important to initially set up all these Dharma groupings of kalyanamitta. You can start with small individual groups, and then when these groupings mature, it will merge. Like what I started 7 years ago, initially they asked me to start a society, I said please don't create another one. We are Dharma friends here to share. Dharma friends that have the understanding, the sharing is very beautiful because I told them we should instead just follow the advice of the Buddha, no argument, no conflict, no division, nothing. As long as there is no division, the Dharma friends, kalyanamittaship will grow and they will be a very strong force by itself to be reckoned with because there will be a lot of harmony, a lot of peace and a lot of understanding borne of what? - borne of the Dharma; when you have the Dharma, you will know how to avoid all evils, all negativity, that is why there will be no division no disharmony, no power struggle, no gossiping and no infighting. We just rejoice and continue to develop and cultivate the understanding of the Buddha's teaching which is so wonderful, so beautiful and so meaningful because it can make a big difference to our lives. And when we participate in such noble projects and visions, we have this condition to cultivate the Buddha dharma, following the advice of the Buddha, to avoid all evils, do good and purify the mind, then not only we contribute, we ourselves also benefit from this process.

Then, one day when you really transformed, you will have a lot of joy and gratitude and you will thank yourself for making that beautiful decision to be a part of this noble vision. When the individual transforms from here, it will spread, then their loved ones will start to benefit. They will sense and feel you like the fragrance of the incense, they know you are different. You are now so full of friendliness, kindness, understanding, warmth, love and compassion. And you are so wise, you no longer want things your way, you no longer force things on your children, you are starting to become more and more sensitive towards your loved ones, even to your husband, your spouse. Then from there, you will have the confidence, and then you will see the harmony, within your family unit. From here, it will spread to the temple, then you can be a blessing to those newcomers or what they call Buddhist devotees who are still new, who still haven't have the understanding of what the Dharma is and how important it is for them to go into the cultivation to realize the Dharma. Because for you to really contribute, I have to emphasize again, for you to really contribute towards whatever you want to do for your society, you must cultivate the Dharma first, without the Dhamma, there is a limit to what you can do. Of course, you hear the Chinese saying, "got strength, give strength, got money, give money" which is also good but only applicable at the mundane level only. That is the mundane way of expression of help which is not bad but what I am talking about is the spiritual understanding of how you can contribute in a very different way, totally different. When you have that spiritual understanding, borne of the cultivation of the Dharma, borne of the realization of the truth and the enlightenment, your nature, your character, your personality will all change. You become a transformed living being. There are a lot Dharma friends who initially came to me, they have a lot of life's problems, situations, a lot of anger, fear, worry, anxiety and unhappiness because they cannot understand life. Whenever they confront the reality of life and existence, especially disease, sickness and death, separation from loved ones, relationship problem, career problem, health problem, financial problems etc, they cannot cope. They used to have a lot of fear, worry, anxiety and panic, then they used to be very stressed out, even relationship problem, between spouse, between children and parents, between brothers and sisters, friends and colleagues, sometimes good friends. They couldn't cope but after they have understood the Dharma, not only they can cope, they find true meaning to life and when they realize their foolishness, they start to change and follow the advice of the Buddha by avoiding all evil.

How can you avoid all evil?

The Buddha said you keep the precept because those who violate the precept commit evil, very simple and very straight forward; then do good and purify the mind - meaning cultivate the noble eightfold path. Starting with the 1st Five path factors of Right view leading to Right thought, Right speech, Right action and Right livelihood. Then you have the Right effort to help you abandon all those unwholesome thoughts, the wrong thought, the negative thought and also the right effort to prevent the arising of all these negative thoughts, and then you become a beautiful living being. You are incapable of negativities, means you avoid all evil through no wrong thought, no wrong speech, no wrong action and no wrong livelihood. Everything is in accordance with the dharma or the advice of the Buddha that is the reason why you will have virtue, you will have goodness and kindness, that is how you can be friendly, can be loving and caring. This is what the vision is all about. From there you can contribute to become a true member of SJBA, a true disciple of the Buddha who understands the basic Dharma to become like an 'ambassador', to represent your society; When you have the friendliness, the love and the caring attitude because of your understanding of the Dharma, and your wisdom and your right view, you can then really contribute and make a big difference to people's life. And there is a lot of joy when you see them changed their lives and turn around via this dharma understanding. Whenever you help one individual, when he or she transforms and understands the consciousness changed from negative, from fear, worry, anxiety and unhappiness into one of joy, happiness, calmness and peace. Because by then they will know how to meditate, then there is a lot of goodness that transform into harmony, joy, peace and happiness. Then life takes a turn, everything becomes meaningful, no more negativity, no more of all those gossiping, anger, hatred, infighting, power struggle, egoistic minds to be right, argument, conflict, misunderstanding and all these can just disappear when the Dharma is within you.

Then you will have a lot of kindness, gratitude, respect towards the Buddha for having given you this beautiful teaching free, that is how you will have a lot of gratitude and respect for Him. Then you will start to understand how special the Buddha is, how unique He is and why we chant "Namo Tassa Bhagavata Arahato Samma Sambuddhassa" i.e. "Homage to Thee, the Blessed One, the Worthy One and the Fully Enlightened One". The meaning you will know, why you are advised by the Buddha to chant the 9 Great Virtues of the Buddha. Iti piso Bhagava, Araham, Samma Sambuddho, Vijja Carana Sampanno; etc. This to remind you that he is the Samma Sambuddha, the Fully Enlightened One because he has got these 9 great virtues which are so special. That is why it is very beautiful when you truly understand His teaching.

Then I have to move on to explain to you all how to establish this kalyanamitta grouping. But before that, I would like to dwell on some compassion in action projects that the world had already benefited from the 3 great masters. Have you all heard of them? These 3 great masters have made a big difference to the world and they are Buddhist based organizations and they have global and worldwide network. For those who had received my email, I sent out earlier on, a few weeks back, will know about it. I wrote that email in reply to a classmate of mine who was so impressed by one of them - Master Sheng Yen.

Master Sheng Yen is from Dharma Drum Mountains (Fa Ku Shan), he was a very good meditator and he is very good in meditation. Over 20+ years ago, I read his book, the "Buddha's mind or Fo Xin" - it is a very beautiful book that talk about emptiness and he was so wise. He passed away in 2009 and that gave me the condition to write to our Dharma friends and let them understand how the world has benefited from these 3 great masters. That's the reason why you can send your members there for training, they are very good. The 3 of them, if you combine their teachings, it becomes complete. As I have explained, Master Sheng Yen is an expert in meditation; he had a lot of branch monasteries set up all over the world. The main one, if I am not wrong is in Taiwan. So if you can benefit from his meditative training and explanation of the Dharma - it will be very beautiful.

But the most influential at the moment are the other 2 great masters - Tzu Chi's Master Cheng Yen and Fo Kuang Shan's master Hsing Yun. You look at Tzu Chi, they are so beautiful. I receive email from Bro. Swee Aun regarding their monthly recycling which is helping the world to remain healthy, to remain livable, because recycling is very important, not only for the environment but also for our future existence. If you don't do that, you are going to pollute the world and choke this planet of ours until one day, you realize it's too late to reverse all these. Through her great bodhisattva vow, she has this very heavy vow to help living beings. So her great contribution or expert field is compassion in action, truly, truly going forward, march and move forward to help the world. You will come to realize, whenever there is a major disaster or natural calamity happening to the world, even in Malaysia or anywhere, their members are the forefront people who will arrive first to help. And they will be the one, so organized and able to help out in so many ways. They have this very good training and they have a lot of gratitude, they even said in Mandarin "Gan En" - they will tell the victim Thank You and "Gan En" which is gratitude. The victim also confused as they said, we should be the one having gratitude for you because you helped us. You came and actually relieve our suffering, help us by providing us with so much of your food and all those necessities for us to tie over those difficult periods. You know how they reply? It's because of you, you give us the condition to be here to do this meritorious and compassionate action that the Buddha actually has recommended to us all to do. Without you having this condition, we won't be here. See, it is so beautiful and their organization grew so far and wide, globally and it's now so famous and so well known.

It's a blessing and they cut across religious lines, anybody can be a Tzu Chi member. I have seen Christian going there, Muslim going there. They believe in the embodiment of goodness, kindness, love and the compassion that the master taught. Because they put it into action and show it to you, no question asks regardless of your race or religious background. They just go and do what they have to do. And the other meticulous things that they had are worth mentioning. I came to know about it from my brothers and some of my Dharma friends who are also Tzu Chi members and volunteers. I managed to get to know a Tzu Chi member (a 'Shi Jie') who came to collect the monthly contribution that my family members and my children contribute to Tzu Chi. She told me their organization is so well set up, so well planned; you will never believe how they do it. I was told, even if you are a doctor and you want to help, contribute and go and help - you know what they said? They have a rule, they said to fund the Tzu Chi organization and their members and sangha's expenses, they will not use your donation and contribution; they will find their own money. If you contribute towards that particular disaster or crisis, they make sure the money is only used for that. Even as a doctor, you want to be flown there to help, you have to go and find your own finance to buy your own air ticket and fly there. They are not going to pay for you.

This is what people do and I have a Dharma friend who has the condition. She worked with University Hospital. She called me one day, she said, "Bro Teoh, do you want to help me?" I said yes! No problem. She said I worked in UH (Universiti Hospital) and I know this doctor, he is very kind and compassionate. He has volunteered to go and help, forgot if it's China or Myanmar, the 2008 Sichuan earthquake or Myanmar's flood. He said he volunteered but he did not know that he has to buy his own air ticket. So I said to her, no problem, we will finance the air ticket and she said, good, you pay half, I pay half. I said Sadhu! and I just send the money - I think it cost about a thousand over Ringgit. That's what we did and he went, so beautiful.

The other great master is Master Hsing Yun of Fo Guang Shan. He has very beautiful monasteries all over the world. I visited a few of them, Petaling Jaya, Selangor, Auckland, Christchurch and Australia. The way they designed their monasteries they are so meticulous and so meaningful. Everything is along the line of Dharma, that's why when we were in New Zealand, we were so lucky. One of the lady cultivator cum dharma practitioner from Singapore who was there many months; she was so kind and she volunteered to be our guide. I went there with a group of Dharma friends, including Swee Aun and his wife, Mee Fong. It was a very good and memorable trip. It was Dharma cum tour. The tour of the monastery was so beautiful because she explained to us all the design. According to her, all the abbots assigned, knew that the Master is very meticulous so whichever monastery that he built with the funds that he received, he makes sure it is channelled and directed towards the purpose. And he comes with a different mission base on his vow. He contributed in a different way. He is the one that built monasteries to be places of great Buddhist learning and cultivation. They have very beautiful Buddha Dharma syllabus. They got great teachers who can teach you very profound Zen or Mahayana and even Pure land Dharma - really very beautiful and very unique. These are the 3 very great masters.

If you go to Master Hsing Yun of Fo Guang Shan, you can graduate with a PhD in Buddhist studies and cultivation. The places are so conducive and so beautiful. You go to Tzu Chi, you put the Dharma into practice - compassion in action then wisdom come later through listening to the teachers or the master's sharing. They got this "Ta Ai Tai" their special TV programme which is free. You only have to pay a one-off installation cost. It's very convenient. Finally, if you want to develop your meditation, you go to Dharma Drum Mountain monastery of Master Sheng Yen. So these 3 places - they are so beautiful.

When you start to understand and appreciate true compassion in action projects, you come to realize there are so many ways you can do it. And these great masters have shown us the way. They have paved the way for us, and showed examples for us to actually have an idea of how it can be done, and it's so beautiful.

When there is a great Bodhisattva that can have the vow to carry this noble vision through, the Dharma will flourish again. That is the reason why when this vision takes effect, it can be the 4th contributing factor to the world. The golden era of the Buddha Dharma will rise again. When all of kalyanamitta can come together as a big Buddhist community to sincerely cultivate the Dharma, so that each and every member has the Dharma then it can be a great force to be reckoned. Then the world will understand, you don't have to promote and sell. People will come to know you via your virtue and wisdom and this is the beauty of it.

Then I have to summarize the last part. How to set up this beautiful kalyanamitta group within our Buddhist society and organizations? Whoever you have as Dharma friends, who are very sincere, very true, or very helpful that you believe they can be your Dharma friend - you start with them. Then you try to look for somebody who has the Dharma, who has the understanding, who can share with you those understanding, they call them noble friends. If you can find even one of these noble friends, it is enough. Your whole understanding and training will change. Then you will know how to move, how to cultivate and progress, you will know how to become a true disciple of the Buddha.

Back then what we, kalyanamitta did was..... I will give you an example of what we did 6 or 7 years ago which was very good. Like what the Buddha has taught us, the very basic Buddhist devotional practice, we call it the PUJA. You have the pre-PUJA before a Buddhist event starts. Just like today, then you have the closing PUJA at the end. Closing PUJA is mainly sharing of merit, transfer of merit then you make an aspiration, then you can also ask for forgiveness if you want to. But the opening PUJA is very important. Like what you all did just now, you call to mind the great virtue of the Buddha, then after that, you pay respect, then you renew your salutation to the Buddha. Then after that you take refuge to develop the affinity to connect to the Triple Gems -Buddha, Dharma and the Sangha. Then you renew your 5 precepts to avoid all evils, and then you renew your sincerity to cultivate the noble Eight fold path. All these are so beautiful. When you understand their significance you will know how pay respect to the Buddha mindfully and you will also do it with the very strong faith and understanding so that your faith or confidence (Saddha) in the Buddha in his teaching will become very stable.

The Buddha calls this saddha the first of the Five spiritual faculties. He said human being cannot develop the cultivation of his teaching is because they don't have these Five spiritual or mental faculties that are needed to understand his teaching. Instead He said, the living beings are so heedless and because they are so heedless, they have this delusion or ignorance that conditions their five mental hindrances of mind. Heard of this Five mental hindrances? You know what is hindrance isn't it? Something that hinders your mind from entering the meditative state of inner peace and calmness. What are the other thing that hinders you? Why can't you become peaceful? Why can't you train your mind and develop the meditation to understand the Dharma?

How many of you have never heard of these five mental hindrances and Five Spiritual faculties before? None Ah! Good! Then I can explain, it will help you a lot. This is very important. Your school and universities also never teach you this. The Buddha says because we are human beings, we have the 5 physical senses i.e. your eyes, your ears, your nose, your tongue, your body which is the tactile and your thought process - six senses in all; 5 physical and one mind hence the "six sense doors". The Buddha said, if you don't understand how you function as a human being and how do you know the world and how you interact with the world, then you don't know how to live. That's how you get yourself into trouble; you entangle yourself with all the unhappiness in your life. It's because your hindrances of mind are very strong, it hinders and block you from understanding truth. So regarding the first two hindrances of mind which are sensual desire and ill-will - whenever you see something, whenever you hear something, whenever you smell, taste or tactilely feel or think, the tendency is, you are heedless which means you have not trained your mind; You have not develop the cultivation of the Dharma, the teaching that He has taught you, you don't understand life, you don't understand the laws that governs your life and your existence. So because of that, you are bound to suffer. The Buddha said, whenever you see something, hear, smell, taste something or tactilely feel or think, you react to what you see, hear, smell, taste and tactilely feel and think hence arising the first 2 hindrances of mind. Hot also complain, cold also complain. Anything you see, nice ones you cling, you grasp; the thing that you don't like, you develop the unpleasantness, aversion and the anger, and you want to push it away. You start to develop hatred towards it. So the Buddha said, the first 2 hindrances of sensual desires and ill will with arise when you don't have the wisdom and the teaching that He has taught you at the moment of sense experience because you tend to react. All of your reaction will condition your fear, worry, anxiety and unhappiness.

These sensual desire and ill-will are the dualities or your positive and negative response to what you see, what you hear, what you smell, taste, feel and think. When you see something you are not happy, what happens? Your thought will start to proliferate, so you are preoccupied with what you see and your reaction to what you see. A mind that is doing this is heedless, that's why you cannot be peaceful. The Buddha says this is a hindrance, you are drawn away. You cannot be mindful within. You cannot be silent and peaceful within anymore to develop the meditation because you have this sense experience, drawing you away. You start to react to it, so your likes and dislike, pleasant and unpleasant feelings, your reactions to all of your sense experience are the first 2 hindrances of mind that human always encounter throughout the day.

Then the 3rd hindrance is also very important. The Buddha said, When you are doing something that you don't like, and don't have the interest and the passion, what happens? You feel sleepy and your mind dull and lethargic. He calls it sloth and torpor, especially if you haven't meditated before; you go and try to do the meditation. You will feel sleepy. Even in school, you've experience before, while attending the lecture class that you don't like, what happened? You feel sleepy, boring, but if the topic is something you like, your mind is full of alertness. There is this interest. This one the Buddha called zeal (or spiritual resolve or tenacity) - it is for spiritual knowledge. If it is for normal worldly knowledge, then it is called the passion, the love, the zeal, the interest that you expressed, that is a spiritual faculty not a hindrance. The hindrance is when you don't have that, and then you become sleepy. You cannot concentrate because this is not something you like so this is the 3rd hindrance of mind.

The 4th one is the worst He calls it Restlessness of mind. Why is your mind restless? Why is your mind not peaceful? Why? Because you have problem isn't it? It is these problems of Life that condition your fear, worry, anxiety and unhappiness. That's why the mind becomes restless. It thinks a lot then it worries, that is why fear, worry and anxiety condition the restless mind. When your mind is restless, there is no clarity, when there is no clarity, you make very bad decisions. That is why you become fearful and you make a lot of mistakes. When you have fear, you don't have confidence. That is why the first important mental faculty or spiritual faculty of confidence is missing. When you are confident with yourself, they said half the battle is won. Whenever you have no confidence, chances are you will fail. In the spiritual sense, it is saddha or confidence in the Buddha and his teaching because you know He is very special and different. He's not only enlightened, He is fully enlightened. Perfect in enlightenment, that's why He has the wisdom and understanding to share with you. To transform your understanding so that you understand the laws that governs your life and your existence, so that you know how to become a real human being, so that you can become a truly happy person, a noble one and an enlightened one, so that you can make a big difference to the world. You can be a true blessing to all. This is what the teaching is all about.

So restlessness will not be there if you don't violate the precepts, don't make mistakes and do wrong and evil thing. If you don't kill, you don't harm, you don't cheat, don't swindle, you don't commit sexual misconduct. If you don't go and lie and do all those deceitful things and get yourself entangle with drugs, intoxicants that cause your consciousness to be very low then breaking all your precepts, you will have no restlessness in mind. People who have this restlessness are people who break all the precepts, violate everything, that condition them to be fearful and worrisome because of their selfishness, their ignorance, their greed and their hatred. So the evil roots are very evil. These 3 evil roots that Buddha talked about are your greed, your selfishness, your anger, your hatred, your ill-will, your jealousy, your envy and your delusion. When you understand that they are the roots of all evil, you have to abandon them. You have to reverse all these via cultivating goodness, kindness, virtue, sincerity, honesty, gratitude, contentment, compassion, love and wisdom. All these will counter the restless mind; will counter the fear, worry and anxiety because these are right thoughts. Wrong thoughts are the thoughts that condition your fear, worry, anxiety and make you restless. Always remember that. These wrong thoughts are thoughts that you go and think and make yourself miserable and unhappy, fearful and full of worries. That's why if your mind has all these worries, throughout the day (human beings have a lot of these), how can you meditate? How can you develop the training of the mind?

The last one is doubt, when you are not sure of what the teaching is. When you are not sure of how the meditation is to be done. When you are not sure of how to develop the training of your mind; you have a lot of doubt. You tend to argue with people.

So the Buddha said, reverse all these 5 hindrances of mind through the PUJA. Pay respect to the Buddha to develop the faith and the confidence or saddha in Him so that you yourself have this confidence. Your mind will then be very calm, very composed, to develop the interest, the spiritual zeal, the vīriya which is the second spiritual faculty through having faith in Him, the Buddha. I.e. when you know the Buddha is so different, He is so wise and so beautiful your faith in Him will be very strong then you are determined to follow His advice, determined to cultivate the Buddha Dharma. That's how the spiritual joy or zeal (vīriya) will come about. So when Saddha and vīriya arise, then you will know how to pay respect to the Buddha. You will pay respect mindfully, hence the 3rd spiritual faculty which is mindfulness or sati will arise. When you have Saddha, vīriya and Sati, you transform. These 3 spiritual and mental faculties will make you very strong, and then your mind will be very calm. There is clarity. Then you see things without distraction, without fear, without worry, without anxiety. You make better decision; you become a better human being. Then you can actually solve a lot of your life's problems with that mind that can understand. Then if you were to meet up with those noble friends that can guide you, that can train you and make you understand the teaching, you will progress very fast. After you had progressed your character and personality will change. When you understand the truth you will change completely. Because we hold the key to our Life's destiny and to be happy or miserable is entirely our choice so choose wisely! When you ask yourself this question - my life, I will choose to be peaceful and happy, I will choose to have harmony within my family, within all of my relationships, I will never allow any of these negativities, these evil roots to arise again.

That is how you can make a difference to your life; this is also how you can contribute. When you volunteer to participate as a member in this noble vision, you yourself stand to gain and it's a win-win situation isn't it? So when the individual transforms, your loved ones will transform, then this will spread and influence others. It will include your colleagues, your friends, even the temple people. One can spread to many and many can spread to even more. That is how finally, it can touch the hearts of all living beings. And it can really bring forth the conditions for the golden era of the Buddha Dharma to arise again, so that the Buddha Sasana can continue to flourish for centuries and centuries to come. So that we can really develop this beautiful and very noble vision to reach a level of maturity that all Buddhist within our Buddhist community can have these understanding and commit themselves to train themselves to cultivate the Buddha Dharma to bring about the realizations of this great and noble vision. So that we all can be a true human being to be a blessing to all.

Now, I will touch on the last part, do I still have time? No more? Then I will stop, I will continue next month, on 31st July I got two talks one in the morning and one in the afternoon. So with this, I will end my today's talk. Then if you have time for Q & A maybe I can take some questions. Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu!

Questions & Answers

Qs 1 : No microphone so question is inaudible.  ..............First is sensual desire..........

Bro Teoh : Yah! Yes! .........No! No! No! You talk about spiritual faculties it should be hindrances of mind..........Ah! Ah!  First two is sensual desire and ill will and the 3rd one is sloth and stupor, sleepiness, dullness of the mind, lack of interest. Ah! Yes! Doubt, very doubtful......Ah! Okay that is a very good question.

You see Depression is the result of long accumulation of wrong thoughts after your hindrances of mind had arisen. You lack wisdom and you don’t understand and because of ignorance you continue to think. And the thinking if you don’t have the understanding it will trap that human being until they become so angry and so unhappy that they enter depression. Sometimes not only depression, I have actually helped quite a number of these people. They like can hear voices in theirheads - like somebody talking to them. Asking them to commit suicide. That’s why you don’t allow this fear, worry, anxiety and restlessness to condition you until you become so unhappy, and then you will continue to think and think and think - because you are trapped in the cocoon of thinking due to your egoic mind and ignorance. And because your ignorance is so strong, you enter depression. And when you become depressed it’s very difficult to come out, unless you have somebodywho understands and explain to you how your mind work and functions. That is why the Buddha’s teaching is so wonderful and so beautiful.

The Five Spiritual Faculties

Yes! Now I will explain the 5 spiritual faculties to you. The 5 spiritual faculties counter the 5 hindrances of mind. Just now I already explained to you all, without wisdom, without understanding you tend to react. That’s why sensual desires and ill-will are there throughout the day.  Living beings experienced them because living beings react to sense experiences very often and very fast. Throughout the day, you have your like and dislike, oscillating. That’s why you are never peaceful. That is why it’s a hindrance of mind. When your mind is pre-occupied with the duality, your like and dislike, and happiness and unhappiness, etc will arise. When things go your way, you feel good, joyful for a while, then you attach to this good state. When things don’t go your way, you become unhappy, miserable, and then you get angry. Then sometimes the anger condition you into hatred because you think and think and think and the thought keeps telling you - how could that guy do that to you? He is too much, you should take revenge, then it becomes hatred, then you plan, you scheme, then it becomes more entangle. After that when there is a condition, like when you see him, you become violent and transgression takes place. This is how human beings enter conflict; create all the negativity of true karmic offences.

Qs. 3 :  ............You can use the microphone.... How can I help this person that I love so much?

Bro Teoh : What is his problem?

Qs. 3 : Depression. He cries a lot

Bro Teoh : You have to talk to him slowly.

Qs. 3 :  The trouble is I don't have the patience. I just say you bow down in front of the Buddha and perform the PUJA.

Bro Teoh : That’s what I was saying…… it brings about a very good condition for me to repeat what I try to share with you all just now.

The Buddha’s advice before he passed away is “Strive on with heedfulness” – “Appamādena Sampādetha”. You must follow his advice via cultivating His teaching; His Buddha dharma to develop the wisdom so that you are in a position to help. Do you understand? When you yourself are also not ready, you also need help, how can you help somebody who is in that situation?

There is a sutta - Sallekha sutta where the Buddha gave an analogy; You know what is a quagmire? A very muddy situation in a pit. He said if you yourself are stuck in a quagmire how can you rescue somebody who is also stuck with you. That is why you must come out of it first then you can pull him out. Like you said, you are impatient, you don’t have enough understanding so after you listen to a little bit of what I said, and chances are you cannot explain and express that understanding to him as yet. That is why I say it takes time. If there is condition and if there is somebody who is really serious about life and wants to understand why he is like that? You can check with him, you can make an appointment with me and I can talk to him. I have talked to many and almost all of them turned around. I don’t do anything. Don’t get me wrong! I’m not a psychic. I just share the Buddha Dharma with them. It’s your life; you decide how you want to live. If you are not even concerned about your life, If you choose not to be helped, nobody in this world can help you. But if you have understood how great and beautiful this teaching of the Buddha is, you will really have a lot of gratitude and respect for Him. Then you will treasure and cherish what He had given you.

These people in depression, they cannot see, they will hide themselves, go and drink and drown their sorrow and become worse. They really don’t like to see anybody. You know why? Have you all seen the show - “Tuesdays with Morrie”? I think Bro. Swee Aun has the video. There is also a book. It’s the same with Morrie. This guy, he was a professor, very famous and successful. Of course he had some bad childhood experiences. His mother passed away when he was very young and he had problems but he recovered. Then he became very famous, very successful, he can skate, he can dance, he can do a lot of other things and he really enjoyed life. Then suddenly, one day, he got an injury, he fell, spinal cord below paralyzed, and he lost his life. He became so depressed, so unhappy, he shut himself out, and then he drinks and became so miserable - like he totally destroyed his life. One day, one good friend talked to him. He said, “your life you decide how you want to live. If you choose to be like that, you‘ll be worse and worse, then finally you will die. “ Then not only you, if you continue to be this way, so negative and so depressed, not only you suffer and become miserable, what about your wife? She will worry for you and suffer too. Your children also will worry for you and suffer. Your students, your friends, your colleagues, everybody worries for you and suffer. Is that what you want? He just asked him this one question.

Out of love and compassion for your loved ones, you should be strong and decide to pull yourself up and recover. And you know what happened? After that talk, the next morning, he woke up, still not very sober, he just said one word, Detach! He recovered and he became even more beautiful than before, the paralysis. He came to realise life can be even more beautiful with the paralysis. He only has to accept this reality. Detach from all the thinking that he was carrying, that made him depressed; Questions like I used to be so successful, I used to be so famous, so agile. I used to have all these. Now I have lost them all. Why is God so unfair? All these questions arise because he cannot get what he wants. That’s why he was trapped in a cocoon of thoughts and he became so depressed and so unhappy. The thought will say you don’t deserve this. It’s really unfair. So, all these are what the thoughts say. Not a reality, negative or wrong thoughts.

What are negative and wrong thoughts? Thoughts that condition your depression, your unhappiness, your fear, your worry, your anxiety, your sadness and your sorrow and lamentation - all these are all wrong thoughts. Noble 8-fold path is about what? Right thought. You are supposed to arise the right effort to abandon your wrong thoughts. That is why the word “Detach” he abandoned them all and he moved on. Your life, you accept the reality of the moment and you move on. Then you gain back your life. You don’t react to it anymore. Because the reality or truth of the matter is - you are paralyzed. Do what you have to do, get a good doctor, seek good medical advice. But don’t attach, don’t cling because body is just a body. Not so real, not you and when you meditate, you understand it is only elements. It cannot be you. The consciousness that is trapped inside is different. That is why when your body is sick, your mind need not be sick and the Buddha said these are wisdom; and when you have the wisdom, you can accept the reality - that’s why he became so famous after that.

Then the reporter interviewed him and the newspaper wrote about him. After that he advised so many people. Their family members could not believe. Just overnight, detach and he became so different. Then he saw the wife, became so happy and so cheerful. The children all have joy and they came back and support him, talked to him. Then he realized - with that understanding, he is no longer angry and unhappy, no longer caught in the wrong thoughts. His mind became very calm and very peaceful. There was so much joy. That was how the spiritual faculty came to him. The faith in himself again. The very peaceful mind, the clarity, the spiritual zeal came back to him. Then he was determined to gain back his life and from this day onwards, changed for the better. After he realized he start to see things differently. He starts to enjoy all of nature’s phenomena. The chirping of the birds, which he never heard before, so beautiful and so meaningful. And all of the nature’s sounds, vibration and music, he even enjoyed. Even though he cannot dance but he can still listen to the beautiful music and he can still rejoice with all the strong support the family members had given him. He starts to see the joy, the glow in all the family members, friends and students that come to visit him. That gives him so much happiness not only to him but to all those people too. Only through what? Through change! Detach! one decision only. And only one person need to change or turned, then all these loved one and those who have relationship and affinity with him also completely transformed. The consciousness of depression, anger, worry, fear, anxiety all disappear and overnight he transformed. That’s why this noble vision and the message of the Buddha can transform the world into a very beautiful world if you understand. Okay?

Qs. 4 : Sadhu!

That someone could be enlightened or actualized over a day but there is this situation, a couple, I think they know they love each other very deeply but both of them are caught in the cocoon of thoughts like what you said just now. One is very self-centred and the other one is going to the extent that he or she is feeling imbalance by saying, “Why am I the only one that is giving in?” As simple as they were talking about mindset. The one that is self-centred will ask the next one. Why don’t you change because the Buddhist said this? ….. I think this family turns Buddhism upside down, by using their own interpretation of Buddhism for their own selfish convenience. How can we make them see this?

Bro Teoh : Very easy. This is very common. I have a lot of people with separation, divorce, marriage problems, relationship problems, etc coming to see me and talk to me and I helped them via explaining to them the true Buddha dharma. And most of them after I talk to them they started to change. A lot of these problems have to do with the law of karma. When things go wrong, it’s nothing to do with the religion, it’s you. I always tell them if you have the understanding of the Buddha dharma nobody can make you angry. Nobody can make you unhappy, nobody can make you sorrowful, and do you know why? Unless you choose to allow it to happen. Human beings always point outward. But when you point outside you don’t understand what is going on inside because if you have the understanding and the wisdom, your peace, your happiness and your joy - Does it depend on what people say and what people do? It doesn’t isn’t it?

It can only disturb you when you deludedly think, what he said is wrong according to your views, your opinion and your wrong perception of the reality. But what is nature’s law? The reality is what? An angry person says angry things. Deluded person do deluded things. They are just the way they are! You should accept them for what they are! That’s why don’t always said “You Buddhist you must change. You cannot speak angry speech!” There is nothing wrong with that isn’t it? If you are a true Buddhist, you won’t speak harsh and angry speech but because you are not a true Buddhist as yet, the Dharma is not there, that’s why when your spouse said something, it hit your ego. You still have delusions – Sakkāyadiṭṭhi or self-delusion, thinking that you exist. That is why when they said something negative, through your hearing consciousness, it goes in and you react because you don’t have the wisdom. If you have the wisdom, you will be at peace. He is what he is. He can decide what he wants to say and what he wants to do. If I accept him for what he is, I’m at peace, and then I act. I still act. It doesn’t mean as Buddhist, everything also we let things be! Don’t care. No! Let things be! - The meaning is very deep. Let things be means - at that moment when things arise, the causes and conditions are like that and the reality is like that. We cannot go against it. You cannot react, you cannot blame, otherwise you suffer. This is the reason why the Buddha said, attachment and clinging borne of delusion is the cause of suffering. So when you attach and cling to your views and opinions and you want things your way you suffer. But if you accept the reality of the moment and don’t react, have a clear mind, a calm and peaceful mind to understand that thing is just the way it is and they are just the way they are! Then I act with Noble 8-fold path i.e. without negativity. Then I ask myself, my life, I choose to be happy and peaceful. I choose not to react then I am at ease and peaceful.

This morning I heard at near the end of the talk. You remember somebody ask one question. If he has a boss who doesn’t want to talk, silent, they don’t know how to answer the question. You see, it is the same, he is what he is. Do you understand? There is a reason for everything.

That’s why I told this lady who came and consult me some months back, “if you continue to be so angry and everybody is wrong, only you are right then you will be karmically very miserable.” Because there is this lady, who was very depressed. The voice in the head talking to her and wanting to commit suicide and she is in very severe depression. I spend 2 over hours talking to her and explained to her and she finally understands. I just give her an example. I said, maybe you need this example to wake you up. Say, one day your husband comes home and he had got a lot of problem in the office, something major happen. So what is going to happen? He will surely be unhappy, and then he is like not himself. As a wife, you call him he also did not respond. If you are the wife that does not have the understanding and the sensitivity, what will you do? Most wives will say, what the hell is happening to you? Why are you like that? Come back home also don’t want to talk, call you also you don’t respond. You know what the husband will say? Don’t disturb me. Today I’m not in the mood to talk. So what will you do? You go and think and then your thoughts will say - how can he do that? He is my husband, you know? Who the hell he thinks he is? You are boiling inside. After that you will shout out at him and then you know what happen? He will walk out of the house, drive the car and look for a friend and then he will tell the friend. Come, help me, and let’s go for a drink, then he will tell his sorrowful story. I already have so many problems; I went home, my wife some more tell me off. What type of a family is this? While drinking it will be worst, if the friend will to suggests - come tonight I take you for a massage then you are finished. Then what will you do?

You stay at home worry for him and looking at the clock. How come 12 midnight he still didn’t come back yet? So who suffers? You suffer. Through what? Wrong speech, angry speech - your ego is so big and you are so impatient and insensitive.

If only you can reverse all these through the Dharma, like what the Buddha teach. That is don’t get angry, be sensitive, be aware then tell yourself. He is like me. If he has got a problem, he will be like that and he is just the way he is because there is something disturbing him. If I want to understand him, what must I do? You can try this - “Hey, honey, you don’t look good today, is there a problem?” Ha, this is right speech, correct or not? Pleasant, kind and understanding speech. Then your husband will definitely yield and respond well to talk to you. He will then say Ya! Today I had a very bad day……. Explaining to you what happened. Then if you want to be a good and supportive wife then you can advise him, “Honey, don’t worry, I will support you all the way even if you choose to resign from the job, no problem. We will continue to survive, (more frugally) and no problem”.

You must give him the confidence, the faith, and support to talk to him nicely. Then the whole situation will not disrupt into what happened. If you are not careful and not tactful, out of anger, which is an evil root….. you wait, wait and wait - 2 am already also haven’t come back. Then what happen? You start to worry and get even more angry then when you hear the car sound, you are boiling inside. You prepare your question; I’m going to blow out at him because he didn’t even want to answer my phone calls and you even asked – “how can you walk out on me just like that?” Especially when you call, he switched his phone off, which is very common and all the wives know. There is a Dharma way to free yourself. Your life, why must you get angry? Anger is an evil root. So, don’t lose your head, don’t become heedless, have love, have compassion, have wisdom and understanding to feel for fellow living beings, then you will have the kindness and the friendliness to talk. That’s why if you have this Dharma, you will be friendly to your husband. You will have love, compassion and wisdom. Then you will be very caring and friendly and you will talk to him very differently. You don’t start to get angry with him and blow out at him anymore. That is what the Dharma is all about. It is so simple. If you want to understand it, it’s so simple but if you choose not to understand then the evil roots are very active inside. ‘Tuesdays with Morrie’ is a reality. You go and read that book and see the video. Everything is there; you can learn a lot of things from it and he is not a Buddhist but the teaching, the message is so clear. Oh! 2pm already! Sorry I have to end. Anymore question? Otherwise we end. My next month talk is 31/7/11 – I have morning and afternoon sessions. Maybe you all can prepare your questions. It is all on the same topic but I will speak in a different way. Every title, every heading I will speak in a different way but the dharma and the message will be the same. Okay?

CLOSING

Bro. Chim :  Thank you, Bro. Kian Koon. I think we got to stop because many people are waiting for Bro. Kian Koon right now. Anyway Bro. Kian Koon will continue to give a series of these talks and the next one is on 31/7/11 so do come and join us. We had invited Bro. Teoh Kian Koon to give these series of talks in our effort to promote a friendly and caring Dhamma centre at SJBA. A centre where we will have a lot of smiling faces, warm greetings, listening friends, loving care and friendship. Hope it certainly don’t sounds too alien to some of us. Some of us come to temple, they forgot how to smile, how to show their care, their friendship. Hopefully, through this series of talks and through other activities which we have started again, where we visit people who are in needs. Recently, we went to Ladang Bukit Ceraka to give food, items to these poor people. So look out for our announcement so that you can join us together, help us to promote a friendly and caring nature among our members and hopefully through all these activities and talks we can have a friendly and caring Dhamma centre here. Shall we invite Bro. Kian Koon to lead us in the sharing of the merits closing puja?

Bro Teoh :  Okay I will chant the pāḷi version and if you can understand you can chant together otherwise you just silent and compose your mind and rejoice. Basically, it is sharing of merits with the devas then we transfer merits to departed ones then you make your aspiration.

Then Bro Kian Koon recites the sharing of merits, transfer of merits and aspirations in pāḷi.

Sadhu! Sadhu! Sadhu!

Buddhaṃ pujemi, Dhammaṃ pujemi, Saṅghaṃ pujemi.

Table of Contents

Biodata Of Bro. Teoh Kian Koon

Preface

Acknowledgement

Introduction by Bro. Chim, the President of SJBA.

Talk by Bro. Teoh Kian Koon

Questions & Answers

CLOSING